To
A person who doesn’t know herself
We don’t have to agree on everything. In fact, we don’t have to agree on most of the things. You can be cold and rational in dissecting a situation, while l retire into a corner and play the part of the sensitive one with intuitions. You can pick out the imperfections, you can be straightforward, you may become the gorgeous ‘Sonpari’ and not ‘Altu’ if you want to, and devour as many potato-dishes as you like—but just don’t change yourself.
Ever.
When you said that you came from a small town, I believed you because small towns have those queer, simple people who may lay down their lives for the sake of true friendships. And you always seemed like a ‘believer’ of true friendships. You can and do aspire to make meaningful relationships in your life. I envy people from small towns.
But you often also say that you “don’t know”. You didn’t know if you could write, appreciate poetry or draw again. Atleast not as meaningfully as you once used to. What I cannot wrap my head around is how you reached that conclusion, before even “trying”. Did you give up before giving up? Because now that you’ve started “trying”, you must have realized that you were meant for greater things. Far greater than you would let yourself believe in.
I cannot be the judge of your hopes and abilities in a matter of months. But the more I get to know you while you get to know Delhi, and what it can do to people, I see that you’re changing. You don’t lack self-righteousness or confidence, you know. You have retained the charm of your laughter and an easy-going smile. But there is a storm brewing in your mind. And I have learnt to see through that in these couple of months.
But don’t you dare lose yourself. You’re allowed to lose your way in life and stumble across stormy relationships and missed opportunities. But don’t ever lose yourself. It will be harder to recover later.
Just believe in yourself the way you believe in others. Small towns package great wonders, you know...
Yours truly
P.S. - You are the best street food afficionado and judge that I’ve met till date.
